A guy’s guide to the menopause

The Female Menopause

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Most guys know a little bit about female biology. Either from learning at school or from the information passed down from father to son or even mother to son. Then there is the information that is learned from one’s girlfriend or sister.

We learn women don’t shave their faces only under their arms and down their legs. Every month they will have a period which is the point when the woman’s baby-making machinery blood flushes itself out. This leaves it fresh, clean and ready to start a brand-new monthly cycle.

We also learn that a woman can have babies and take far greater pain than any man that has ever lived.

A man will moan if he gets a spot on his face whereas a woman can pass a human the size of a football out of her wee parts…

That is an eye-watering painful thought.

Men First – What’s In It For Them?

A guys guide to the menopause

Now, what joys does a man have to biologically go through?

At puberty, a boy will start to get a ridiculously low high crackly sounding voice as it starts breaking. The next thing he knows one day he opens his mouth to talk and what sounds like his father’s voice comes out. His voice has broken.

Then a little while later hairs start to sprout out of everywhere but mostly on his face. Then there are the sexual changes that happen down below.  Changes to the man sausage arousals fluids, more sprouting hairs and thoughts that were never there before.

 A couple of years down the line he has a low voice and a face full of hair.

That is about it. All he must do throughout his life is control that hair growth on his face by shaving. As he gets older to middle age, not an awful lot of change occurs.

The man’s biology and plumbing are quite straightforward and simple.

The Woman’s Menopause 

The Female Menopause

So you have been with your wife or partner for many years now and you are both rapidly approaching your 50’s.

Man is used to a routine. He knows his body and he is pretty convinced he knows yours.

Now unless someone has specifically told him about menopause he will have absolutely no idea or won’t even be able to conceive what it is.

One day the woman will turn round to her husband and say something like  “Dearest  I have been getting these hot flushes, I keep getting dizzy and don’t you dare ask for rumpy-pumpy tonight because to be honest with you the last couple of times we have done it  I have been a bit dry down there and it has been a little painful  and I think I might just be starting the menopause.”

Now the man brain or at least the one that knows nothing about the subject will stop and want to protect you and be considerate. However, he will have no idea what you are talking about  and will probably reply with  “That’s ok babes, it’s probably just like a cold and it will be gone in the morning.”

How Will A Guy Know It’s Happening?

Well wake up and smell the coffee because you are about to get a little guide to help you understand just what menopause is, how it affects the woman and how to handle her.

When a woman goes through menopause her body starts to go through a change. It is when her baby making parts stop making babies and her hormone levels start to change, entering into a different phase of her life.

She starts to get hot and cold flushes quite regularly for no apparent reason and she will quite possibly get quite ratty as well.

These are down to the changes in levels of the hormone estrogen which control the development and help maintain the female characteristics of her body.

If your wife decides to go and see her local GP  he will give you both advice as to what options there are to lessen the effects and make things easier for her.

Some women decide to get hormone treatment in the form of a small plastic patch that sticks to their arm every day. It’s a bit like a nicotine patch but with hormones.

She also has the option of lubricating jelly to compensate for the dryness whilst lovemaking she experiences down below.


So no it certainly is not a cold or the flu or something that will be gone in the morning. These are changes that she will be experiencing and it could last between 2 – 4 years after which her body will settle back down to some sort of normality without the monthly period cycle or the ability to have children. Don’t worry because every woman will eventually go through it but not all at the same ages. They say whoever they are the earlier a girl starts her puberty then the earlier the age she will go through menopause.

So through this particular stage of her life, you must be calm, understanding and caring but overall don’t ever lose sight that she is the woman you love and she is the one who is going through menopause.