So, you have finally done it, you have spent a hell of a long time thinking about doing it. The time has come to stand back and admire it, in all its awesome glory….however, what is it?
It’s your one and only, “me time”, do what I want, when I want to do it, I wear the trousers, testosterone-filled…………..Mancave.
Your beautiful wife gave you permission last week, but in return, you had to promise to decorate the kitchen. You love your wife so much, you’re convinced she is the best wife in the world. You feel so pumped up, you might even decorate the whole house for her……at some point.
However, in the meantime you have invited all your mates over for next weekend, The Big Match is on, the beer is gonna be flowing, the music is gonna be pumping and it is going to be a historical night to remember.
Gadgets for Men, Stuff Guys Want
You have worked it all out, your darling wife has set you a budget of £1000 which you have secretly tweaked and trebled. As you want to cram it full to the brim of Gadgets for Men because you need stuff guys want.
First thing first, you are going to have to fly through the internet and buy buy buy. Wow, this is going to be so exciting. However, probably best if your adorable wife, the love of your life, doesn’t actually see what you are going to buy. So, you will need to delete all your google history, have your wits about you, keep your eye out, and get ready to, turn that screen off.
It will be like a finely tuned military operation.
You slowly type in the search bar, gadgets for men, and as if by magic all these amazing products appear before your eyes, you are armed and dangerous with a credit card in hand.
The first product you see you want. It is a classic 1979 Ford Capri Speedometer clock, this is something you have needed all your life, so you very quickly put your credit card details in and buy it. Oh yes, the confidence is flowing, and you are feeling so proud of yourself now. Next, you search for a giant cinema size smart TV. You buy the largest one you can find. Next up is a full-size pool table. Now you know how much you need this, and you also know it won’t even come close to fitting in your mancave, so you must wrestle with your highly developed intellect and your powerful, wild caveman instincts.
Why did you buy that? I suppose you can always send it back.
You begin to feel like you are in a dream. You buy a black spinning leather hidrotic reclining chair, with built-in blue tooth, and a matching six-seater sofa. Suddenly an advert for a solar-powered mini-indoor barbeque set comes up. Obviously you buy that one, and next is a classic regency styled cocktail bar, then a dartboard and next up is a flat pack karaoke with a Saturday night fever styled LED-lit mini two-person dance floor. Then you casually spot a fine pair of 1986 725-watt second-hand Wharfdale speakers, you really can’t pass that one up.
Then you stop for a moment and imagine just how it will all look, once unpacked and correctly placed in the mancave, and you start to become emotional at the very thought of it. You never realised just how much class and artistic flair you had.
Calmly back to the laptop you go and tap in football memorabilia. You see gently floating across the screen a beautiful see-through 2 ft x 2 ft box. It’s made from the finest old English plastic, encasing a small piece of genuine Wembley Stadium turf, from the 1966 world cup final between England and Germany. So you buy 3 because you know how they will be a real talking point as your mates gather round and stare in awe of your wonderous mancave possessions. Then you buy an original, 22 kt gold leaf trimmed, white leather football boot signed, by Gary Lineker and Paul Gascoigne, and it even includes laces.
The final cost
You are now feeling very thirsty after all this work and you think about your mates and beer. However, first, you roughly calculate how much you have spent, and you come up with the estimated figure of around £17,623.16p. Not bad, you think.
Feeling chuffed with yourself you start to type, and you give a lot of thought to this one. ‘Mancave’ is what you come up with and the last two products that you purchase are a life-size, Cutty Sark style beer barrel. It contains 15.5 gallons of original North Korean whisky. Also, a crystal glass coffee table suspended on the back half of a 1987 Renault Fuego bumper, still containing the original working brake lights, number plate and logbook.
Then your lovely wife pops her head around the door and passes you a nice hot cup of tea, and asks you, “How are you going, dear? I hope you haven’t gone over budget.”